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Looking for Advice for Wife who began pulling hair only recently.
Submitted by Larry57 on Mon, 01/11/2010 - 06:34
Hello. My wife has started pulling her hair almost on a consitent basis. This only started app. 2-3 months ago, although she has been depressed for app. 3 yrs now. We do not have medical cov. and can not afford to be sending her to many doctors.
We live in New Jersey, near the Jersey Shore and I was wondering if there were any free or relatively cheap support groups in the area. I remind her that she's causing a bald spot on the back of her head and she'll stop, only to begin again in usually under One minute's time. My wife and I haven't gotten along in the last few yrs mostly do to her depression and have planned to seperate but can not do so at this time mostly do to financial restraints. I don't think she will take my advice to heart at this time. Even though I feel I need to be seperated I would still very much like to see her get better & happy.
Any advice would be helpful.
thanks,
A
Your wife had this problem
Your wife had this problem her for a long time. I was married for 5 years and he still has no idea. This is not a habit understand. It's a gene disorder and they proved that. Forget the support groups they are never going to find us a cure as long as those centers stay in business. They will make u think it's in our head. Don't be brainwashed. Your a good man for being supportive of your wife. If you want to really help her massage her scalp as often as you can.
Well, now would be the ideal
Well, now would be the ideal time for her to stop considering she has only been pulling for a few months. I don't live in your area so I'm not sure about support groups, but I hope you are able to find one. I have been pulling for 13 years now and I still haven't been able to stop so I don't know if I have any good advice but I do know that there is hope because I have read about other people being able to stop. I have tried hypnosis, therapy, tons of different medicines, etc. and nothing has helped so I have come to the conclusion that this disorder is something I will have to beat on my own will. I was reading last night about Habit Reversal Training and I think I am going to try that. Does your wife realize when she is pulling? Awareness is imperative in trying to reverse the impulse to pull. The first step of this technique is keeping track of the hair pulling episodes (i.e. when they occur, what they were doing at the time, how long the episode lasts, how many hairs were pulled, how strong the urge was, and what their emotional state was). Maybe you could look this technique up and see if it helps. Like I said, I don't have a lot of advice because I myself have been unable to stop pulling after so long. I do know this would be a good time since she hasn't been doing it for long. I only wish I would have had someone there to help when I started. It's great that you're trying to help her and I hope you are able to mend your relationship. Just remember that we don't "choose" to pull out our hair so try not to make her feel guilty about it. Best wishes to both of you :)