im sad

hello my name is heaven and im 11 years old..... I also have a disease known as trichotillomania. Im very sad becuase i am unable to part my hair in the middle anymore, i have to take my hair and push it to the sides, and if you lift it there are about 20 or 30 short hairs.It almost looks like I have bangs. They are starting to grow back thought.I started to pull, or pick when i was 3 years old then i stopped in 2nd but then i started again and now im in 5th grade and have barley no eyelashes, but they are growing back. My hair is all growing back and im really proud of myself...but sometimes i still have that urge to do it once in a while but i do not pull i just try to keep my hands busy and not pick thats my suggestion.On april 10th im going to the doctors, and my mom is going to tell him, and i know im going to cry. Almost every day i think omg why me why did god give this too me , im not normal, and then i just wanna stop, and go some where that know one can ever see me and make fun of me. trichotillomania has effected my life alot and sometimes it scares me......If anyone i wants to talk email me at bardoo25@aol.com,i dont care what age you r as long as u have trichotillomania